The moment he barged into the room and we saw his bald, glasses-covered head and suspender-covered body, we sighed. We then plugged our noses to hide from his body odor. It did not work quite as we hoped.
“You petulant normalcies,” he bellowed. We didn’t think to respond, lest he think we agreed with him. This was at the risk of letting him continue his rant, which he indeed did.
“Your silence merely enhances my notion that my superiority is rock-solid while yours is tenuous at best,” he prattled on. “I cannot allow myself to be spoiled by your low-level interests that are clearly a tainted substitution for my own, really.”
“That is where your grandstanding words fall short of their intended mark,” we told him. “You are the one whose existence relies only on negativities and the incorrect presuppositions about entire groups of people.”
He looked at us with anger. His fists balled up, and he hunched over. He would have exploded except that he was not a bomb. We tried to calm him, some of us grabbing his arms in case he broke out in violence, and others backing away in fear. Needless to say, we did not soothe his emotions.
“Wretched beings! I will not let you force me to stand for this!” We let go of him, and he sat down in a chair. “Regardless of what you think of me, your inferiority is a blight on an otherwise-beautiful plane that is my perception of reality. I wish for you to leave it, all of you.”
“We cannot abide by something that only you alone can accomplish; you must abandon your foolish notions at once,” we pleaded.
“Make it so, even so!” he shouted. “I am not some tit for tat lover of media. I reign supreme as the sole source of cultured artistic expression’s true audience.”
We tried desperately to interpret his words. We tried finding meaning where there was none, analyze his status as an angry nerd in a broader socio-cultural context. Alas, we found nothing, and in the meantime, his rampage took a great toll on all of us.