“Matao Maika, at your service,” Matao said, saluting me in the most sarcastic way possible right in the middle of the hallway. “What do ya want me to do?”
“Well first of all,” I said. “You need to fuck off. Second of all, you need to act like a decent adult and treat people how you’d like to be treated.”
“I’d do this to a clone of me,” she said, seeming to completely miss the point of what I said. She was still saluting, after all this time, and I realized she would continue to salute me for a very long time from now. Possibly for the rest of the day.
“Don’t you get it?” I asked, rhetorically. “I hate you. I want you to die.”
“But why? What’d I do to deserve your scorn, Reina-kun?”
“Cut it with the fucking ‘kun’ thing.” I really wanted to slap her in more places than one, though I didn’t want to start an all-out brawl in the middle of the hallway. “Let’s get one thing straight, Matao. We’re not friends. And this isn’t some sort of sarcastic tirade. I really do want you to get impaled by a spear handled by Oda Nobunaga, or something.”
“Yes. You know what? Better; Genghis Khan. Or General Patton. I don’t care who, as long as you get impaled.”
“You’re so nice to me,” Matao said. “I really like these things you’re saying to me.”
I didn’t say anything in response. Instead, I pivoted my feet around in an about-face turn, and walked away from her. The only thing better than what was going on right now was what was going on in the future, I thought; this hope was the only thing keeping me sane.
“Don’t wait for me!” Matao said, yelling from across the hallway. I looked back; she was still saluting, even after all this time. She ran up beside me and began walking next to me.
“Are you really going to keep saluting me like that?!” I yelled back. “You’re fucking terrible, you know that?”
“No! And no! To both of those, no!” Still saluting, she stepped up even closer to me. Our noses were mere inches apart, as she looked down at me.
I stopped moving, and turned to face her. She was taller than me, so my stature was not very intimidating, but I gave my angriest face. “Do you want to fuck?” I asked, scowling.
“No,” she answered. “Never.” We ran into the family bathroom almost immediately, and locked the door behind us.
By the time Opposite Day was over, we had had passionate sex for over four hours. “I hate you so, so much,” I told her, panting and leaning over the sink.
“I hate you too.” Matao continued to salute me as I kissed her on the cheek.