Hilldog Adams stood in front of the one-way mirror and next to Officer McAdams, who held a checklist in his hand. Hilldog stared at the police lineup of criminals in front of him and squinted his eyes.
“Do you see the guy who assaulted you?” Officer McAdams asked. “We’re going to let them go after about ten minutes. If you can’t figure out who it was, then tough luck for you.”
“It was that yellow flower character,” Hilldog said, pointing his finger.
Officer McAdams turned his head to Hilldog and raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“That.. flower. The yellow one. He and/or she is the one.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Hilldog pointed again, more forcefully this time. “Right there! The flower, the orange and yellow one! It’s not that hard. The other guys in there are all humans.” He lit up a cigarette and put it in his mouth. “I mean, none of them look any damn thing like my description, so I don’t even know why they’re here.”
Officer McAdams read Hilldog the description: “‘I was assaulted by a character; very tall, very reddish skin, probably liked the sun too much; I didn’t see the character enough to tell much more.’ This does not exactly sound like a giant flower to me.”
“Then why’d you bring the character in?”
“Because he and/or she was acting up in his and/or her prison cell. So we took him and/or her to the lineup to cool off for a bit.”
“How long has he and/or she been in prison?”
“Are you, by any chance, lying, Mr. Adams?” Officer McAdams lowered his sunglasses and looked at Hilldog suspiciously.
“I am. I was never attacked. This was all a waste of your time.”
“Why did you do this, Mr. Adams?”
“To conduct the greatest heist of all time. I was the distraction.”
Just as he said this, another officer ran into the room, gun in hand. “Officer McAdams!” he shouted. “The Prize Diamond has been stolen from the National Museum! We couldn’t get anyone out there in time to stop them, because there’s a prison riot going on right now!”
Officer McAdams handcuffed Hilldog and began marching him towards the lineup. “You’re going to rot for this! Rot, you hear? Rot!”
Hilldog laughed. “I may rot, but at least I didn’t get fooled.”
Hilldog passed the yellow flower character, and nodded at him and/or her as he did. The yellow flower character nodded back, flashing a toothy grin.