Dispelling the Fiction
Marco sat down in his chair, sweat pouring down from his forehead.
He had lost.
But it wasn’t his game to lose, so he just really didn’t understand. How could he not win? He was supposed to. Everyone said he was going to. But then he… didn’t.
Was it some sort of trick? Did someone use magicks or disrupt a server and hack the results? Was everyone in the entire world brainwashed to move against him? It made no sense and he really couldn’t comprehend that well enough to let it slide.
He knew that he hadn’t actually lost. Marco never lost. Charlie Crist knew that well when he lost like a fucking scrub, twice. Fuck that loser.
It had to be fake.
He went to the computer and searched to find the New Hampshire results.
10.6%. Fifth place.
It just… didn’t look real.
Something went wrong. Was it the media? Was it his hair looking bad? Was he currently in a third-level dream but hadn’t realized it yet because he was the subject of a subconscious extraction?
All he knew was that something was very, very wrong.
(Let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that Marco Rubio didn’t know what he was doing. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing. Marco Rubio was undertaking a systematic effort to change his mind, to make America and the rest of the world like him more.)
(It was obvious at this point that Marco realized he lost, but he wanted to make himself feel like a winner, any way he could.)
He realized the reason he “lost”. It was because of all those other damn egotistical fools that stayed in the race to cannibalize him. He couldn’t take his Iowa victory to the finish line and defeat the Devil Donald because of those shills that Hillary herself probably hired to keep him from winning.
John Kasich, the sunshine of Ohio, and the grumpy RINO to end all RINOs. He won with fake votes. The votes of the Democrats, the Moderates, the Independents. Those were the fools that dispensed with no pleasantries; they existed only to undermine Marco’s attempt at coalescing a firm regime. Ohio was a gross and ugly nation.
Ted Cruz, the lunatic of a thousand suns. He still wore footie pajamas to sleep every night and probably wet his fucking bed. What a loser, taking Marco’s conservative principles and running even further right like some sort of penis-measuring contest but with ideology.
Jeb!, his former mentor. The elder statesman and a traitor to America, for working with the enemy to undermine him. Two Floridians was a sick and disgusting move that not even Marco could understand. How they got this master to attack his former apprentice was unthinkable.
Christopher Christie, the warlord who suicide-bombed Marco’s strongholds and took his goods. Let’s dispel once and for all with all this fiction that Chris Christie wasn’t trying to save Kasich and Jeb!. He was doing EXACTLY that. Chris Christie was undertaking a systematic effort at that last debate to change the Presidential race, to make Marco like the rest of the candidates– losers.
Carly Fiorina, the repugnant leech. She knew she couldn’t win and was literally there just to sap away his support until he was bled as dry as George Washington on his deathbed. There wasn’t much else to say about such a person who could undertake a systematic effort to change the Presidential race, to make Marco like the rest of the candidates– losers.
Ben Carson, the– okay, he didn’t affect Marco’s standings in the election. He didn’t even campaign in New Hampshire.
Fuck Jim Gilmore though.
The Devil Donald ran triumphant through the streets, castrating the nonbelievers and purging those that had defected to other candidates. The town of Manchester ran red with the oozing remains of its populaces.
And now there was no-one to stop him from doing the same in South Carolina. And Nevada. And beyond.
All because of the lies and treachery committed by Barack Obama, who was undertaking a systematic effort to change America, to make America like the rest of the world.
But America isn’t like the rest of the world.
When Marco is president of the United States, he decided, America was going to re-embrace all the things that made America the greatest nation in the world and they were going to leave its children with what they deserved: the single greatest nation in the history of the world.
He just had to make it happen.
He stood up from his computer chair, wiped the sweat off his brow, and shouted:
“Let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows EXACTLY what he’s doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world. It is a systematic effort to change America. When I’m president of the United States, we are going to re-embrace all the things that made America the greatest nation in the world and we are going to leave our children with what they deserve: the single greatest nation in the history of the world.”
There was no-one around in the room to cheer for him, but he himself clapped. Because he was a winner, and one of the greatest winners in the history of America, which was the greatest nation in the world, and he was going to leave his children with what they deserved: the single greatest nation in the history of the world.