[Movies We Haven’t Watched] Legally Blonde

[Movies We Haven’t Watched] Legally Blonde

Elle Woods, sorority president, is in love with a man. Or, well, she was.Her boyfriend broke up with her in a public setting to be with someone else. This is what I know.

I imagine that the rest of the movie involves law school because of the fact that she’s going to personally take his ass to court for slander and defamatory speech. He didn’t deserve her. She is too good for us.

I’ve heard of the “bend and snap.” This is what it’s called when a woman bends a man’s neck to the left until it snaps and he dies. Elle Woods, most important fictional woman to ever star in a romcom, did not do that, but she taught other women how to do so. You don’t want to know what the “twist and shout” is. It’s worse.

Elle Woods, goddess lawyer, eventually gets together romantically with her ex-boyfriend’s brunette ex-fiancée. The woman, a legacy of her family, full of lawyers and politicians, made certain that their shared mistake of the manly variety would never be able to get clients. They knew that he would treat prospective clients much like he treated Elle and her new girlfriend.

Elle and her wife now live in Washington DC with their pet chihuahua and several houseplants. Their flatscreen sees a lot of hockey games while they cuddle on the couch.

They are the most fashionable lawyers ever to have lived.

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