[Movies We Haven’t Watched] George of the Jungle

[Movies We Haven’t Watched] George of the Jungle

Our intrepid narrator (Keith Scott) helps George save himself from risking his own life and limb. This is done while making sure George is as attractive as George can be at all times. The narrator’s work is cut out for him since situational and slapstick humor make up the majority of this film, but there are only so many times a man can fail to watch out for a tree before the joke gets old.

George somehow stays immaculately clean while living in the jungle. This wouldn’t be suspicious (bodies of water exist and he could theoretically wash himself) except for the fact that he stays clean while swinging through vines, fights large animals, rolls around on the ground, and does other comedic things. The fact he stays clean through all of this is unnerving.

An elephant pretends to be a dog. The less said about that the better. Dogs are great. Elephants are great. Dogs the size and shape of elephants are not great. Please don’t make this something that happens. (Dear Science: please make sure dogs never get as large as elephants. I’m begging you.)

A woman named Ursula and the narrator team up to make George (Brendan Fraser) into the hottest man that the movie claims to have. This involves a combination of shirtlessness, whipped cream, wardrobe malfunctions, and formal wear. The plot is irrelevant, and so is any attraction anyone feels to George of the Jungle, since apparently he and Ursula are destined to be together. This movie tries to employ the female gaze. This movie probably doesn’t succeed to employ the female gaze.

Ursula (Leslie Mann)(not an evil sea witch) is presumably the only reason I would theoretically watch this movie, but it’s debatable. She is not an evil sea witch, which makes me like her less. That said, she probably deserves better than George. She could theoretically mold George into whatever she wants him to be in society, but that would be rude.

I believe Ursula is secretly rude. I approve of that.

At some point, gorillas sing professionally. This is relevant to the plot nobody paid attention to for the entire movie. People didn’t pay attention for a variety of reasons, and I assume they all had a variety of reactions when it ended.

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