This is a story that was written in collaboration with a friend of mine who wishes to be designated as “Traindick McIronpunch”. I hope you very much enjoy it.
Inane and Stupid
It was another hot day in July for Wizards star Michael Jordan as he walked down the pathways of existence, contemplating why he was a human being and not a star, like he felt deep within his heart– nay, his soul. His very being called out to the stars, like he was one of them. And yet he was not one, because he was a human being on the planet Earth, far away from any star except the measly yellow sun named Sol. What could one human being possibly do in the expanse of the universe, even a human being like Michael Jordan, do compared to even one single star? Not much.
Abruptly, Michael Jordan realized that it was 2015 and he wasn’t actually on the Wizards anymore. Woe took his soul; was he even still alive? Public opinion didn’t care about him outside his role in Space Jam, and even that was enjoyed ironically. Existential numbness shook Michael to his core. The starfathers would not be happy about this.
Continue reading “Inane and Stupid” »
This story is based off this Guy in Your MFA tweet.
James, John, Jane
James stood in front of John and Jane, and put his hands on his hips. “We have to do something about this,” he said.
John chugged a soda, then slammed the glass bottle down on the table next to him. “I still don’t believe any of it,” he said, before burping.
Continue reading “James, John, Jane” »
Gee, I sure do love these low, low prices, I thought to myself as I perused the aisles of my local Super Mega Mart Ultrastore. Not many are lucky enough to get to see the look of the man as he finds out that a dozen farm fresh organic eggs are only $2 or the rapturous release of tension that the poor college student feels as she realizes that she shaved $54.87 off of her grocery bill by using her Mega Perks Reward Card or the faint twinkling of hope in the eye of the small child who realizes that, if there exists a place like this, where the blessed ichor of value oozes from every corner of the store and flows through the hearts and minds of every man and woman who wears a Super Mega Mart uniform, that maybe, just maybe, the world isn’t such a cold and horrific place after all. Even fewer have the immense responsibility and pleasure of managing such an establishment. Continue reading “Walsmart Well It Wendsmart Well” »
This doesn’t need to be on HCAD at all and doesn’t contribute to anything, but since it’s my birthday, I can do what I want. Booyeah!
It’s been a little under two months, and Home Clipart Animal Deer has already posted over 100 times! This is definitely cause for celebration, the kind that involves posting celebratory GIF animations:
Continue reading “HCAD’s at 100 Posts!” »
Merry Gristmas, as the kids call it. Today is 10/25, which means it’s the anniversary of Andrew Hussie doing a lot of big Homestuck stuff, like Alterniabound, or Cascade, always very exciting. Speaking of Cascade, that actually came out four years ago today, wow. Kind of weird that that was supposed to be the 2/3 or 3/4 point of the entire comic but ended up being about the halfway point by pagecount and nowhere near that for how long it’s been. But my seventeen-year-old self will never find out that fact, because if anyone tries to go back in time and let her find out, I’ll go back further in time and kill their grandparents, even if it starts a paradox. Because it’s worth it.
No, there isn’t much of anything to say about this. Homestuck isn’t updating again and the fandom’s near-death so there’s nothing cool to share… uhh, I guess I’ll post some picture I made many years ago that probably relates a little to Homestuck:
Continue reading “It’s 10/25, so… Homestuck” »
Not name dropping or anything, but me and Shane Black are pretty god damned tight. We share everything; toothbrushes, ice cream cones, movie scripts. Since we’re such great pals, he showed me this scene from one of his upcoming projects, his triumphant return to the Lethal Weapon series. The studio has it under pretty tight wraps, but he is really adamant about his fans being in on the creative process, so he wanted me to “leak” this scene so you can get a taste of what’s to come. Oops, sorry I just dropped this super secret script to the hottest buddy cop flick of 2017 for all of you guys to enjoy wink wink nudge nudge.
(PS Not saying it’s gonna happen, but Shane’s pretty sure that Danny’s son Donald might be attached to the project. Fingers crossed!)
Lethal Weapon 5
I have decided to stop writing stupid stories and start making AMVs. Literature is a dead art form and anime music videos are the way of the future. You can expect my Oreimo/Uptown Funk original video do not steal within the week. Until then, please watch this AMV featuring by favorite song and my favorite anime.
The Homestuck fan adventure Sandswept is an official Home Clipart Animal Deer affiliate, and it is resuming updates after a short hiatus. For now, it’ll be updating once a week on Sundays, with a couple pages per update usually. It’s not a very frequent schedule, but at least you get some good new Squiddle Comics!