[Movie Club] Homestuck: When Fans Take Precedence over Story

[Movie Club] Homestuck: When Fans Take Precedence over Story

This is not a “movie” per se, but I will count it as HCAD Movie Club material because the finale of the comic is half an hour’s worth of animation so it is somewhat movie-like.

Introduction

Homestuck ended over a week ago. It was bad. But with this article I want to focus on one aspect of the final two flashes that I think is the real culprit for everything that went wrong. Beside the Too Many Cooks-level of cast size and the overbearing ambition weighing down the plotting, I think the primary factor is that the fan pandering went completely out of control.

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[Movies We Haven’t Watched] Citizen Can-Do

[Movies We Haven’t Watched] Citizen Can-Do

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Citizen Can-Do

Thedude3445

 

“You might be wondering why I called all you here today,” The Citizen told the crowd in front of him in the theatre. He wore a grin from ear to ear, like a mischievous cat that also drove taxis. “Well, it’s because your dearly beloved Mr. Can-Do has passed away in his sleep.”

One guy in the crowd raised his hand. “Uh, why are you telling us this? It happened last week.”

“Because I have proof that he was not killed by an accident!” The Citizen said. “And it pleases me to tell you that one of you in this room was the culprit!”

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[Clipart] Eat Drink Speak Think Feel

[Clipart] Eat Drink Speak Think Feel

Eat Drink Speak Think Feel

Thedude3445

eat_drink_speak_think_feel

Emotions. Those things were a useless construct created by the patriarchy to control how we acted and reacted to events both within and without our control. Now they are useless. We have our base desires, but emotions are not any of them.

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[Election ‘016 063] Bernie Time

[Election ‘016 063] Bernie Time

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Bernie Time

Thedude3445

 

The one-tenth of the one percent must fall.

That was the single most important phrase that Jesse and his fellow comrades-in-arms needed to remember, to memorize, to take to heart. It was the sacred mantra of Bernie Sanders’s great army– the Sanderistas.

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[Clipart] Two Little Girl Friends

[Clipart] Two Little Girl Friends

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Molly and Samantha were two little girl friends. They had been holding hands for a period of at least seven minutes by now and the onlookers gawked. It was a sight to behold, with Molly holding her doll, Samantha holding her basketball, and both of them holding each other’s hands.

An older woman with a mohawk walked up to the two little girl friends. “Wow,” she said. “I never thought I’d see the day that you two lovely girls would be about to be two little girl friends together like this. I’m so happy for you.”

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[Election ‘016 061] Mad Kasix: Cruzy Road

[Election ‘016 061] Mad Kasix: Cruzy Road

mad kasix cruzy road

Mad Kasix: Cruzy Road

Thedude3445

 

Kasix stood over the cliff overlooking the large expanse of sand and wasteland surrounding the entire land. This land used to be the great state of Utah, but after the primaries… It looked exactly the same. But that was beside the point, because Utah reminded Kasix of nothing but the brutality and disgusting destruction of the past twelve months of this Presidential Election…

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[Madoka] Kuttsukiboshi x Madoka Magica – Chapter 16

[Madoka] Kuttsukiboshi x Madoka Magica – Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 

“COME AND GET SOME,” Asuka said through the speakers of Eva Unit-02.

Hamlet Omega, the massive monster in front of her, charged straight at her, plunging its innumerable tentacles towards her mecha.

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[Madoka] Kuttsukiboshi x Madoka Magica – Chapter 15

[Madoka] Kuttsukiboshi x Madoka Magica – Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 

“Have a taste of this!” Madoka summoned a magical rocket launcher and shot a giant pink missile at Walpurgisnacht. It exploded in a blaze of magical energy and pushed Walpurgisnacht a kilometer away from the city. If anything, that would at least save some lives.

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[Clipart 060] Normal Alien at the Nightclub

[Clipart 060] Normal Alien at the Nightclub

normal_Alien_alien_at_the_nightclub

 

The sun was gone, the moon came out to play, the neon lights flashed, and the music raged on against the dying of the night. The alien, who was perfectly normal of course, arrived at the doorstep of the nightclub and decided to start boogie-ing down, to party like no other normal alien had ever partied before.

Except the bouncer stopped him where he was with his hand. “Whoa buddy,” the bouncer says. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I want to go into the nightclub, the normal alien said.

“That’s not happening,” the bouncer said.

“But I want to start boogie-ing down and party like no other normal alien has ever partied before.”

“Dude. You’re a fucking two-foot-tall head on stilts. You can’t boogie. I don’t even know how you can walk like that.”

The normal alien scowled. “I am most certainly not a ‘fucking two-foot-tall head on stilts’, sir! I am a normal alien who just so happens to have a very thin body!”

The bouncer scowled back. “This club is not going to get into full lawsuit central because some dumbass headless alien decided to go to a nightclub and ended up getting trampled and killed by all the other patrons. That is not something I want on my hands.” The bouncer patted the normal alien on his head, since he couldn’t pat him on the back or shoulders or anything. “You seem like a good kid. Why don’t you go study at the library or have a good time at home? It’s just too dangerous for you.” He gave a very slight nudge to the normal alien and pushed him away from the line. “If you really want to do something out here, why don’t you go to the Mexican restaurant across the street? I think it’s karaoke night.”

The normal alien pondered this. Could the bouncer be right?

There was only one way to find out.

***

“IIIIIIII, WILL ALWAYS, LOVE YOUUUUUUU,” the normal alien bellowed into the microphone. He was half-drunk and full off tortilla chips, but his singing voice was great. Fantastic, even.

The song ended and he gave the microphone to the guy next to him, whose name he had forgotten. He stepped back and sat down in his seat while the guy began singing “We Built This City”.

Suddenly, he realized a man in a white jacket sitting right next to him. The man wore aviators even though he was indoors and the restaurant was already dimly-lit.

The man passed the normal alien a card. “Name’s Manchester Bennings,” he said. “I want you to come into my office tomorrow afternoon. You good?”

“Wait… Manchester Bennings? The famous producer for Yuletide Records? No way…”

“Yes way. I heard your voice. I know what you can do with that head of yours. Your body may be weak, but your brain and your heart is strong. Mr. Alien, sir, will you be a part of my studio?”

Could he really be that good, this normal alien?

There was only one way to find out.

***

Officers Timmons and Blake stepped up to the drainage ditch and looked at the deformed green head lying lifeless in the sewer water.

“This is some fucked up shit,” Officer Blake said.

“You said it,” Officer Timmons said. “Looks like Bennings strikes again.”

They filled out the report and laid the head on the stretcher. Officer Blake picked up two broken stilts and put them in an evidence bag.

Just another day on the force.