The dog stood guard in front of her doghouse, growling at the mere smell of the humans nearby. She sniffed some more and realized one human was approaching, and quickly. She barked and growled further, but the human stepped up in front of her and put his hands on his hips.
Continue reading “[Clipart] Glad He is Chained” »
Jody Hopkins was an arachnid enthusiast. She loved that they had eight legs, eight eyes, and a constant internet debate over whether or not they counted as bugs. When she was eight years old, Jody made it her life’s goal to have a pet spider as large as a dog. She wanted to be able to walk her pet around the neighborhood just like everyone else she knew could. Continue reading “[Clipart] Pet Spider Girl” »
Girl Walking on Wall
The wall in front of the girl was infinite. It was black with pink edges, and over its edge was an unending horizon of blank nothingness. And yet this young schoolgirl, her miniskirt flowing in the inexplicably-blowing breeze, straddled along the corner of the wall and paced down its forever-long pathway.
Continue reading “[Clipart] Girl Walking on Wall” »
Mythical Elf Frog
In the deep of the forest, far from anywhere society had ever discovered or developed, there was a village called Mimsytown. It was little bigger than a hamlet, though honestly it was little bigger than a single small tree. Each of the buildings in Mimsytown were but single mushrooms hollowed out and turned into homes for each of the elves living there. It was scary whenever the birds and snakes would try to hunt the city down, but Father Yayteese knew all the magic spells to keep the animals away and help the village grow without fear.
Continue reading “[Clipart] Mythical Elf Frog” »
Angry Bird Man
Let’s be honest here. Nobody cares about no angry fowls gettin’ all mad from no pigs fighting each other and stealing eggs or whatever. Celebrity voice actors or whatever are stupid and really, it’s just not something that people can really enjoy in the first place. No, the world wants story. They want action. They want innovation and captivation.
Continue reading “[Movies We Haven’t Watched] Angry Bird Man” »
You’ve heard of American Beauty. You’ve heard of American Psycho. You’ve heard of American Beauty/American Psycho. Now get ready for American Bartender!
He’s the real deal: a muscular hunk of man that will serve you the liquid part of a meal. Watch him now in one of nearly infinite locations in fifty states and several territories!*
Continue reading “[Clipart] American Bartender” »
Elle Woods, sorority president, is in love with a man. Or, well, she was.Her boyfriend broke up with her in a public setting to be with someone else. This is what I know. Continue reading “[Movies We Haven’t Watched] Legally Blonde” »
The lighting rig creaked as Ted Cruz kneeled atop the metal trusses. Thousands of people rustled beneath him, mumbling to each other about thugs and ISIS and welfare between mouthfuls of popcorn and soda. These were Ted’s kind of people. He used to fill town halls and lecture halls full of wide eyed, white skinned, blue collared Americans like these. They would come for miles to hear him preach the American truth. About how his family heard the sweet song of Lady Liberty and pierced through the iron curtain to fall into the warm embrace of her bosom. About how, with nothing but sticktoitiveness and and the grace of God Almighty, he overcame adversity to seize his dream, one which is shared with all young patriotic boys; becoming a Junior Senator from Texas.
But they weren’t here for Ted. Ted couldn’t fill a minivan these days because of him. That’s why he had to die. Continue reading “[Election ‘016 066] I Am Become Ted-th” »
And with a zap, Madoka, Sayaka, Crispina, and Nagisa were back. Asuka was so glad, except for the fact that… none of the trainees were there. And there was another Sayaka whose color palette was very desaturated. And there was a Homura but with short hair and glowing red eye. Two Sayakas certainly wasn’t the worst thing in the world but Asuka was very disconcerted about it.
Continue reading “Kuttsukiboshi x Madoka Magica – Chapter 13” »
The unconscious Jeb! was sprawled across his couch, his slacks and dress shirt disheveled and stained with orange tinted smears and brown splotches. The floor, coffee table, and every inch of the couch not occupied by his bloated body were covered in sticky beer and soda cans and food wrappers, all licked free of crumbs. Jeb’s phone, rattled the half empty Mtn Dew that was placed on top of it, jolting Jeb! awake and sending detritus streaming off the couch and crashing to the floor like a waterfall of aluminum. Jeb! blindly swatted at the tabletop until he grabbed his phone and hit talk.
“Whuuuuh…. what the hell do you want? Who is this?” Jeb! mumbled into the receiver.
Continue reading “[Election ‘016 058] The Death of Jeb!” »