[Election ‘016 063] Bernie Time

[Election ‘016 063] Bernie Time


Bernie Time



The one-tenth of the one percent must fall.

That was the single most important phrase that Jesse and his fellow comrades-in-arms needed to remember, to memorize, to take to heart. It was the sacred mantra of Bernie Sanders’s great army– the Sanderistas.

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[Election ‘016 013] Graham Cracker

[Election ‘016 013] Graham Cracker


“Bombs over Baghdad!” Lindsey Graham sang along to his favorite Outkast song as he drove into the Capitol Hill parking lot. He skidded into his spot, which had “Lindsey Graham!!!” bedazzled on the sign, and opened the door before the car was fully parked. Today was going to be a good day. Today, the United States was going to war.

Inside the building, Lindsey sashayed towards his office. The other senators and congressmen that passed by gave him strange looks, but he ignored them. He was revved up and ready to do some war, and no silly little men were going to distract him from that.

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